OCD

OCD Alphabet

Most of my writing about mental health has been quite serious lately, so I thought I’d take a break and do something more lighthearted. I often think in metaphors, especially as it concerns OCD, so I’ve challenged myself to use every letter of the alphabet to describe what this condition is like. I’m pretty sure I’ve tweeted some of these too.

A

OCD is an ass. Come on, I have to say it.

B

If you’re not into swearing, this one’s for you: OCD is a bully. Now I’m gonna swear again. OCD is a bullshit artist. Lies! Don’t listen to the lies!

C

OCD is like an evil cartoon. You can see the contours of your world, but they’re exaggerated and made nightmarish.

D

OCD is a donkey.*

*See letter A

E

Toxic earworm. Enough said.

F

When my OCD is manageable, it’s like a low-grade fever. I can function well, but I sense its presence, if only lightly.

G

When my OCD is annoying, I think of my thoughts as a cloud of gnats.

H

A helix. It just keeps twisting. Or maybe a double helix? It’s in my DNA.

I

The inevitable will happen if I don’t ritualize.

J

OCD is a jackass.*

*See letter A

K

OCD is like a never-ending knock knock joke. You know your rituals are ridiculous, but you can’t help but ask “Who’s there?”

Every

Single

Time

L

Can a leopard change its spots?*

*See letter A

M

OCD as Mobius strip. Or perhaps a Mobius strip club. You keep going in, but it just makes you feel bad.

N

Noooooooo! That’s not exactly a metaphor, but it’s often what I say when I’m in the throes of ritual hell.

O

People with OCD are said to have sticky thoughts. That’s because the disorder is like an oil slick that has drenched our neurons, making it difficult to move from one thought to the next.

P

OCD is a puzzle with a missing piece. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been searching for that piece forever. Let’s face it; I’m never gonna find that piece. Also, sometimes the entire puzzle changes. Alkjweorufkljsadf!!!

Q

?????? They don’t call it the doubting disease for nothing.

R

My convoluted rituals and thinking patterns put me in mind of a Rube Goldberg machine.

S

One must imagine Sisyphus happy. Or not?

T

OCD is a turncoat. Now I need to write a short story with a war theme and all the soldiers represent different obsessions and compulsions, and I’ll lose track of every single one, and the casualties will be many, and now I have a lot of work to do.

U

Staying with the war theme – OCD is a usurper, a usurper of rational thought.

V

When my symptoms were severe, I was often pulled into the OCD vortex.

W

When my symptoms are mild, my OCD is a persistent whisper.

X

Let’s go with a broken xylophone here. If I only hit it just right, the notes will sound perfect.

Y

Yuck

Z

Zonkey, zebrass, zedonk – take your pick. Think of the stripes as the convoluted nature of OCD, and the assery is, well, the asssery.*

*See letter A

 

Your turn.

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